Who does God say you are?
Original artwork by Sidney Miller. To explore her work: Instagram @sidderleigh. To inquire about commissions, email Sidney.
Before we get started, I invite you to take a deep breath allowing this air, this breath to sort of cleanse your insides, the cells of your body. There’s so much happening right now, and yet you’re here, taking time for yourself.
You’re doing great today. If you’re comfortable, pat yourself on the top of your head, whispering or saying out loud – well done.
Repeat this a few times.
You might want to close your eyes now as you enter into a time of settling, of noticing, of being kind to yourself, to your body. This is a time of rest, of listening.
Holy listening.
Let’s take one more cleansing breath.
Settle into your chair, place both feet on the ground.
Settle in.
Notice any tensions in your body. Try not to judge the tensions but instead try replacing any judgments with a sense of curiosity. You might replace thoughts like “I can’t believe my anxiety is acting up again with – Why am I anxious?
Try to be gentle with yourself.
We’ll spend the next 10-15 minutes in a time of deep listening and reflection as I guide us in a time of meditation.
Our focus for this time will be moving from burnout to discovery.
We’ll allow our body to guide us as, together we move through a process of what it might look like to heal symptoms of burnout.
We will wonder together to see what unhealthy narratives we might be telling ourselves over and over that keep us stuck in places of unfreedom and pain.
Words, phrases, new knowing, images might arise during this time, or perhaps nothing will come up. Welcome everything and try not judge it. Trust this process knowing that, after this exercise, God will bring back anything that needs to be remembered.
Come Holy Spirit come.
You’re invited to keep your eyes closed as we begin:
Images populate the news. Shattered lives.
This has gone on for 2 years now.
The situations compound, the stress, the unknown, the shifts, the changes, the screens, life goes on.
The images, information.
Overload.
Responsibilities. Range of emotions. Up and down. Side to side. Up and down.
Dizziness. Numbness. Balled up anger.
Who isn't weary?
Our minds are weary. Our bodies are weary.
We name this reality, this heaviness. It is REAL.
Yet, Jesus promises --
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Light? What if we can’t feel the light? What if we feel mostly pain? How can we get the light to come through?
Imagine light surrounding you. Imagine a Holy Spirit light orb circling your body. Notice where it wants to travel around your body. The light wants to break into the areas of darkness. What areas are tense? Sore? Weak? exhausted? Fatigued? Numb? Apathetic?
Allow the holy spirit orb to hover over these areas. These areas that need love, light, attention. Perhaps there’s a chronic place of pain or perhaps the orb is travelling to a place you didn’t even know was hurting.
Continue breathing and notice…
Take a few moments to just breathe and notice.
Symptoms:
Have you been experiencing symptoms lately or perhaps these symptoms have been with you for years? What are they wanting to say? Some examples could be but not limited to:
· Bouts of vertigo > are you feeling unstable?
· Rashes > is something irritating you?
· Upset stomach > what is making you uneasy?
· Light headedness > what is restricting your ability to breathe?
What other symptoms might you be experiencing?
Joint pain, migraines, allergies, neck pain.
What are they telling you? What does their voice say? How does it sound?
These symptoms manifested in your body might be pointing you to places of unfreedom in your life.
Begin to wonder…
Remember keep breathing…
Come Holy Spirit come
Narrative:
A narrative might be emerging from listening deeply to some of your symptoms. Maybe unpleasant memories are emerging. Phrases around who others say you are
No one will believe you!
It can’t be that bad!
Just suck it up!
What’s wrong with you!
No one will believe you!
It could be worse!
You’re a liar.
What can’t you do this?!
Possibilities:
Who are you really? Who does the Divine say you are?
Allow words like lovely, kind, steadfast, loyal, dependent, caring, honest, gentle, discerning to come into your consciences…
Imagine the light orb drawing some of these words out in the air in front of your body….
Relax into these words, relax into this light
Come holy spirit come….
Hope and Grief:
Even though you have fallen short in some ways, God sees you, God knows, God knows you.
Remember.
You are who God says who are:
Isaiah 43.4 reminds us: You are precious in my sight and I love you.
Matthew 25.23 is also resonate: Well done, good and faithful friend.
Take your hand to the top of your head again: saying well done, I am loved.
Continue to breath.
Love:
Imagine the light orb hovering in front of you again….what words does this Holy Spirit light orb what to draw in front of you. What words best describe your core? Only good words.
How might you allow these words to penetrate into some of your negative thought patterns and narratives? How might you allow gentleness, tenderness, faithfulness, etc. begin to direct you toward more love toward yourself and away from fear and hate?
Taking another cleaning breath. Imagine the Holy Spirit light orb hovering on top of your head and dissolving into an infinite amount of tiny sprinkles of light that dust your body, heady to tow to hesed, with loving kindness. Imagine it dissolving onto and into your skin, into your muscles and bones, it carries all of the fruits of the spirit, you carry all of this in you and with you.
In the name of the father, son and holy spirt. Amen.
When you’re ready. Begin to open your eyes. Continuing breathing.
I invite you to take time later tonight or sometime this weekend to journal, or draw, or maybe paint about this experience. Pick one or two knowing or noticing or prayers that emerged during this time. Talk to God about it. If you desire more processing, talk to a spiritual director or counselor, or pastor about your experience. And remember to be gentle with yourself. God is faithful to our journeys.
Additional suggested reading to accompany meditation:
The Hope from Morning Star Rising, a book of poetry by Sanseria Murray. You might consider reading this like a Lectio Divina. What words or phrases evoke energy in you? What is God wanting you to learn today? Perhaps the poem connects back to some of the images or thoughts that arose in you during the meditation. What holy threads is God bringing forth and connecting? To read the full poem, go here.
“My grief has swallowed me up
I can only lament over loved ones lost
dreams dried up
families torn apart
love sought
and not
returned
This is the burden of my heart
Suddenly I feel a spark
something deep down
in my soul so dark
a glimmer, a hope
The Spirit is calling me
reminding me
reshaping me
renewing me
restoring me
I was so completely devastated
drowning in my own sorrow
And now there is hope
Hope like tomorrow
Hope like
Your Spirit leads me on
Hope like
When I pass through the waters
they will not overtake me
Hope like
When I walk through the fire
I shall not be burned
Hope like
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
Hope like
I can slay giants
Hope like
I can stand firm
for you are with me”
Who does God say you are? was written by Emily Turner and originally presented for STIR Worship Service at Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church in Richardson, Texas. You can listen to the LIVE meditation here at 26 minutes.
Part of Emily’s ministry and desire is to facilitate spiritual and emotional healing through listening, loving presence, prayer, and writing. She is a trained spiritual director. With both her background in journalism and training in spiritual direction, Emily is a compassionate listener. She asks intuitive questions, gently companioning with those she works with to live into their true selves. Email Emily.
This meditation was inspired by Spiritual Directors International Presence Magazine Spring 2022 issue Moving from Burnout to Life.